Unsubs Unite!
by fire-bird3224
Summary: When a random group of unsubs all band together to take out the BAU, will they succeed?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of the characters**

**So some of the unsubs (some that died on the show) are all getting together to plot the ultimate crime against the BAU to stop the team from doing anything.**

**Foyet's POV**

I looked around the ratty apartment and sighed. I mean, when a bunch of murderers were coming over you weren't expected to clean anything right?

There was the first knock on the door. I opened it to see young Jeremy Sayer standing there. "Wow, you're Foyet? You look a bit too... Geeky." He said with a large butchers knife in his hands.

"You didn't need to bring your knife." I told him. "I mean, if someone saw an eleven year old walking into my apartment with a butchers knife we could get caught, again."

"I'm not eleven!" He protested as two other showed up.

Paul and Johnny Mulford came in carrying their large bows and arrows.

"Jesus! Someone could have seen you!" I said and yanked them into the small place.

"We need our weapons for protection!" Johnny announced proudly. "I can kill anyone within the range of this arrow!"

"Yeah, you're really improving!" Paul encouraged.

"Are they gay?" Jeremy asked in a whisper.

"Nope, they just have brotherly love." I rolled my eyes as another knock came to the door. Frank, whose last name escapes me, walked into the room. Aside from me, he was the closest thing that almost broke the BAU.

"Wow George, it wouldn't have killed you to clean the place up a bit?" Frank mused.

"Why? We're not going to spend an extensive amount of time in here." I told him.

He shrugged as the last person who wanted to come knocked on the door. Billy Flynn knocked on the door. He was really creepy and he reminded me of a rat.

We all went silent as he walked in and he looked at Jeremy and smiled. "What's the boy doing here?"

"I tried to get every unsub we could." I told him. "You guys were the only ones to respond."

He nodded and walked over to Johnny and smelled his hair as Johnny could just stand there in horror. Paul then took out an arrow and pointed it right at Billy.

"Guys! Calm down!" I said and took all the weapons away. "We aren't here to kill each other! We are here to get rid of Aaron Hotchner!"

"And Derek Morgan!" Billy Flynn smiled.

"And Jason Gideon!" Frank said, not knowing that Gideon was gone.

"And the hot black haired chick that shot me!" Paul cheered. We all looked at him.

"You were shot by Prentiss?" Frank asked after a second.

"She is a talented lady." Paul grinned as wel all walked towards the other room. "So Foyet, got any beer?"

**End of chapter one**


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own Criminal Minds or any of the characters**

**Still Foyet's POV**

I had only spent five minutes with these people and I already hated them.

I had passed beers around, and a juice to Jeremy. "Why do you even have juice boxes? Oh, and I want a beer." Jeremy told me.

"Nope, you have to be eighteen to drink, I think. It's against the law to give you anything." I told him and took a sip of my beer.

"When did you start caring about the law?" Paul asked.

"I would actually prefer some juice..." Johnny told me.

Billy laughed. "Are you sure this guy isn't gay?"

Paul, once again, pulled out his arrow. This time, Frank grabbed the arrow away. "Let it go..." Frank said. "Save your arrows for Jason Gideon..."

"Gideon quit, just by the way." I told him. "He left, but you can have Rossi as your enemy?" I suggested. "He's the one that looks like Yogi bear."

"How could you guys ever think of Yogi bear?" Johnny looked at me, aghast.

After a second of all of us being quiet, Jeremy piped in. "I call killing Reid..."

"We can discuss who's killing who after we have a plan!" I yelled and they all went quiet. "I say we go in and we all take over who we want to kill."

"Sounds good." Jeremy said as he stood up.

"Wait, you can't leave!" I told him.

"Why? We just made a plan. I got stuff to do." He shrugged.

"Yeah, you've gotta get home to watch Hannah Montana." I rolled my eyes.

He frowned and sat down. "Okay, what else to discuss?"

"What weapons will we use?" I asked.

"Bow and arrow?" Paul asked.

"Butcher knife?" Jeremy added.

Anything to kill?" Billy took out a variety of knives out of his pockets. "I mean, you only want a shiv right?" He asked me.

"I'm good with anything." I said, my fist tightening. "I am going to stab Aaron over one hundred times." I growled.

"You're on a first name basis with this guy?" Johnny asked. "I thought he didn't like you. I mean, you played chess with Jack and killed Haley..."

"I find it strange how you put him playing chess in front of killing his ex." Frank frowned.

"His ex. Wouldn't he be happy to have her dead?" Johnny asked.

We all rolled our eyes. "Get the hell out, see you tomorrow."

**End of chapter, please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own Criminal Minds or any of it's characters**

**Paul's POV**

We all met at Foyet's house again. To be honest, I didn't think that we could do this plan.

"Paul, what if we die again?" Johnny whined as I knocked on the door.

"We won't, just don't get too close to anyone, okay?" I asked as Foyet let us in.

"Okay, so new plan." Frank said as we walked into the room. "Paul will go in and say that his son is missing. He will hang as close to Prentiss as possible. Then Foyet will go in and act like his whole family was murdered, and hang around Hotch. We will all do that, and then kill everyone." He said.

Now you can see how we are all confused by this, we all just looked at him. "Or we could go in and kill them all?"

Billy nodded. "Yeah, that makes a lot more sense. We will go in and rape the women..."

"No we won't. We just want to kill them!" I looked at him. "Calm down."

Billy grumbled something inaudible and we all got up. "Are we going today?" I asked.

"Yes, after we have more of a plan that isn't awful." Foyet sighed. This place was very dysfunctional.

"Okay, Paul and I will go in and shoot people with arrows and other people will go in with guns so we're more intimidating. Then we can kill them in whichever way we want." Johnny said, making the most sense out of everyone.

"I think gay guy just made our plan." Jeremy told us.

"Why is he gay? He is just very childish and dependent on others." I defended my brother and looked at them. "And besides, you're the one who wears skinny jeans."

"Skinny jeans are awesome." He grumbled.

Frank laughed. "Anyways, I'm going to kill Rossi. Who is everyone else taking?"

"Well, I think Foyet wants Hotch and Billy wants Morgan." I shrugged.

"I'll take Reid, and Paul wants Prentiss?" Jeremy asked and I nodded. "Then Johnny can either have JJ or Garcia."

"I'll go for JJ, he sounds like a challenge." Johnny told us and everyone laughed.

"JJ's a girl." Billy told him.

"Oh... I'll say sorry once I see her." I looked at Johnny and he looked truly sorry.

Foyet stood up. "Okay, let's go take down the BAU."

**Done chapter, please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own Criminal Minds or any of the characters**

**Franks POV**

We all went into the BAU, Billy leading with small pistol and Johnny and Paul right behind with their bows and arrows. Foyet, Jeremy and I all followed behind them.

"Hello Aaron Hotchner." Foyet walked behind Hotch and took his gun attached to his belt and threw it to the ground. "Hello everyone in the BAU."

"Hi!" Reid waved to him.

Jeremy went over to Reid. "Shut up genius!" He said and pointed the knife to his neck.

"You guys are so intimidating." Morgan laughed.

"Which one's yogi bear?" I asked Foyet and he pointed to Rossi. Rossi didn't look like yogi bear at all. "Okay, then I'm going to go kill you."

Johnny walked over to JJ. "I'm sorry, I thought you were a guy before. I have to kill you now though, so no hard feelings." He said and pointed an arrow to her back.

She effortlessly elbowed him in the stomach. "Get away creep." She said and just went back to work.

"Wait, so you guys aren't scared?" I asked and Rossi shook his head.

"No, we took all of you guys out before. Besides, you won't be able to kill anyone." Rossi shrugged, looking over the file he held.

"We killed Strauss!" Jeremy said proudly.

"Wow, thanks!" Reid gave him a friendly pat on the back.

"What do you mean thanks? We just killed your boss! Now who will sign your paychecks?" He asked.

"Well, they will hire someone else..." Paul sighed. "I guess we never thought about that..."

"Well we can do other stuff." I told them. "We probably scared you guys pretty bad. You guys are just acting tough."

"No, not really." Rossi looked at me.

"Actually, while you guys were in here we put you guys under lock down. You're stuck in here. Even if you did manage to kill us then you would be trapped in here and you would be caught." Hotch looked at us.

"I think they got us guys, we should just give up." Johnny told us and let his bow down from JJ.

"Wow, you guys must really suck at this." Prentiss told us.

"No way! Between us we've kill so many people!" Jeremy laughed.

"And yet you have not managed to kill any of us yet." Reid looked at us. "And if I remember correctly, which I do, aren't most of you supposed to be dead?"

"No." Foyet looked at him. "We're so tough that we don't die!"

JJ turned around and slapped Johnny as he burst into tears. "Yeah, you guys are really tough guys."

"That hurt." Johnny said and he looked at Paul.

"It's okay John-John." Paul said to Johnny. Now at this point Morgan was rolling on the floor laughing.

Rossi looked at me. "Come on Frank, I'm pretty sure that you can do better then these guys."

"I know. Paul! Stop making us look bad!" I yelled at him. These people were all idiots.

"I'm out guys." Jeremy said out of no where. "I think if I bail now then I could get off with a shorter sentence. And I'm going to tell the police that you guys kidnapped me."

"Wow, you're nice." I groaned. "We are totally screwed!" I yelled.

"Can we at least cut you up a bit?" Billy asked. "So we don't seem like a complete failure?" He looked at them.

"No, you guys are failing!" Prentiss told them.

"I love you Prentiss." Paul told her out of nowhere.

"Oh for god sake." I looked at Paul. "Where did that come from?"

"That was the only reason I came here." He admitted.

Foyet sat down and shook his head. "Okay, so now it is only Billy, Frank, Johnny and I? That is three and a half murderers!"

"Sounds like a good show." Billy said and brought out a notebook and pen.

"How am I half a murderer?" Johnny asked and shot an arrow into Foyet's arm.

"Don't take it personally!" Foyet screamed and began to panic.

"Stand still." Hotch said and sat him down again. He then yanked out the arrow from Foyet's arm.

"Thanks." Foyet said to him. "Sorry for killing Haley and playing chess with Jack..."

"Oh yeah..." picked up the arrow and put it back in his arm. "Well, sorry for beating you to death."

"Okay, we should go." Foyet stood up. "Come on, let's go."

"We are the worst unsubs ever." I shook my head.

"Okay." Johnny put down his arrows. "Bye JJ, come on Paul."

I looked over to Paul and he was making out with Prentiss. "Johnny, just go with them. I'm busy." He said and he and Prentiss left.

"Well, we really, really, really, really suck." I said and left. "Bye, don't say anything to me, ever again!" I yelled back in there.

**Done, I know it was a strange ending, but I didnt' know any other way. Bye! Please review!**


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